A Challenger Approaching!
by InPerfectSilence
Summary: A whole lot of non-connected, on-the-spot kind of things that delve into characters and situations not normally explored in the general fanfic. Review to request a character! Next up, a random bounty hunter from the Metroid series!
1. Chapter 1: Ashley

**Heya, Saucey here!**

**I know, I know, I should be working on Painful Truth, but I can't quite get it dark enough, and nobody is reviewing it anyway. Samus is tired of working for me because nobody reads my stories...**

**Enough ranting. I'm going to accept anonymous reviews. If you have a character you would like to see here, leave a review! I will accept any Nintendo character, and the one with the most votes wins, or else I'll just pick and choose. Don't be disheartened if I don't pick yours! Just review again! I will accept some 3rd party characters, but Nintendo characters will always be picked over 3rd party...**

**Unless I really like it!**

**Anyway, Enjoy the first chapter, Ashley!**

**...**

You can't catch me!"

Wario sped down the highway on his bike, leaving in his wake many beeps, swerves and car accidents.

"Bwa ha ha!"

He slid under a tanker truck, causing the tank to spill and roll down the hill, into a blue blur.

"Ouch!"

Wario laughed again and revved the motor. The speedometer showed a reading of over 200k/h.

"That's more like it! Faster!" Wario bellowed. Cars sprawled over the road, either swerving to avoid the crash or not swerving fast enough.

CRASH! BAM!

Wario found himself tumbling over the pile-up and down the highway, his bike following suit. Making a grab for a handlebar, ha pulled his fat body up and onto the seat, tearing away once again.

Wario pulled up beside a great big house, missing the wall by a hairs breadth. He hopped off and slammed open the door.

"Anyone home?" He asked without really listening for an answer. No answer came.

"Must still be out or something." Wario mumbled to himself. "Peach? Ya there? If ya are, I need some garlic bread!"

Still nothing.

Wario muttered to himself as he walked through the doorway to the living room. Or one of them anyway. He was about to simply pass through when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned ever so slowly to see…

"Ashley."

Said girl had her head buried in a heavy tome and did not respond. Wario shrugged. After all, it wasn't his job to keep peace and order. That was for the other smashers. Right now, he needed a beer.

Sonic opened the door as Wario had done, despite the fact that it was already open. He walked through the living room, which seems to be the only way to get anywhere in this giant house.

Anyway, Sonic walked through and didn't notice Ashley at all until he went to turn on the TV and sit down. He noticed how black her hair was. It was black.

"Why is there a girl sitting on the couch?" He asked himself. After several attempts to politely ask her to move, he shrugged and moved on. "I gotta go and beat the crap outta Wario as payback."

Several minutes later, the boys (Ike, Marth, Roy and Link Sr.) walked through the door, strutting around like they owned the place. They intended to get an hour or so of Wii before the girls came in. This failed, however, as the girls (Zelda, Peach and a very bored and irritated Samus) flounced in. The boys groaned.

"Aw, great. I told you we should have left earlier!" Roy complained. Marth hit him over the head.

"Grow up."

Peach and Zelda ignored the two (very) immature boys and strutted into the living room, only to see the strange black-haired girl sitting on the couch, burying her head in a book.

"Uh, who's this?"

Ike peeked around the corner. Link silently followed. Marth and Roy could be heard bickering outside.

"Hello?" Ike asked, moving up to this strange new girl. She ignored him completely.

"Hello?" Ike repeated. The girl made a very irritated movement. Ike stepped a little closer.

"Hello?"

"I heard you there first time." Said the girl. Her voice was a mix of boredom, monotony and pure sarcasm. Ike blinked.

"Excuse me?" Said Peach. Ike stepped a little closer so as to _**LOOM**_ over the smaller girl. She wasn't intimidated, however, as she simply looked up and threw the tome in his face. Ike's nose was severely damaged, to say the least, but the tome shattered upon hitting his head.

"I always knew he was a little dense…" Roy sniggered. Ike grabbed a handful of conveniently placed tissues to stop the bleeding nose.

"She's-She's god wed eyes!" He said. The others peered at her.

"The name's Ashley. Don't you forget it."

…

Red and Roy walked through the corridors, Roy telling Red about the new girl.

"So, she's locked herself up in Samus' room, and now she's throwing a fit-" Samus walked by, throwing a fit. "And Ike can't even bash down the door, cause he broke his nose."

Nana and Popo rushed past and said something to Red, who kicked them away.

"Sorry, don't understand the language of retards! Sorry, what were you saying?"

Roy stared into space, trying to recover his train of thought. Meanwhile, Gannondorf, Wolf and Bowser were up to their usual plot scheming…

"This… _Ashley_ could be a useful asset to our group." Wolf spun around on a spinning chair to face the others. "Meeting adjourned."

Gannondorf growled. "I have two complaints. A, that wasn't a real meeting, and B, who died and made you king?"

Wolf snorted haughtily. "Your mum."

Gannondorf broke down into tears and Bowser had to cradle his head. "Look what you've done, Wolf."

Wolf shrugged "I was just sayin'."

And now, the conversation had absolutely nothing to do with anything at all.

Even as all this played out, the Pokemon were all gathered in one room together. Pikachu stood on a pedestal.

"OK, is everyone here? Lucario, Pichu, Charizard, Squirtle, Ivysaur, Mewtwo, Jigglypuff, Yoshi… Wait what the heck are you doing here?"

Yoshi 'Yoshi'd and waddled away.

"Well that was a little bit random. Anyway, without further ado, let us continue with our meeting."

Pikachu surveyed the crowd. Mewtwo raised a hand.

"_How long will this take? I have a busy schedule today. You see, I have training with Ness…"_

"Very nice. But this meeting is more important."

Lucario raised both his hands.

"**I, for once, agree with catzy…**"Mewtwo frowned. "**I don't want this to be longer than necessary.**"

Pikachu silenced him. "Shut up. This meeting is important! You see, this new girl, Ashley… she could be our way to glory! Are you tired of being treated like some sort of low-tier character?" Pikachu looked at all the agreeing faces. "Did you hear how she stood up to Ike! She beat him up real good! If she helps us, everyone will think twice about calling us garbage!" All the pokemon in the room cheered.

"Then let's do this!"

…..

Samus clenched her fist. Then she unclenched them. Then she clenched them again. And so on, so forth.

She was angry. She was mad. There was a strange girl in her room, reading a book.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get an answer out of her.

There was a strange girl in her room who wouldn't talk who was reading a book.

Of course, she didn't actually know whether or not Ashley was reading a book. That's just what she assumed. In reality, Ashley was inspecting the contents of her room, but Samus doesn't need to know that.

"ARGH!" Samus cried. "I'll get her out of there before nightfall!" And so Samus conjured up a brilliant plan.

…..

Red was playing Wii with the Links. He was losing, badly. Until Gannondorf decided to play.

"TOOON LINK!" He roared. "I COMMAND YOU TO RELINGUISH CONTROL OF YOUR REMOTE!"

Toon Link shrugged.

"I'm not scared of you anymore, Gannon_dork_. We've got a new challenger!"

But Toony gave Gannon the remote anyway.

Then, Red was losing _really_ badly.

"Ha, Red! I am beating you!"

Red whined like he always does. He such a spoilt brat sometimes.

"Sorry, Red. Don't understand the language of RETARDS!"

Red cried and ran all the way to his room on the other side of the mansion. Gannondorf slipped Nana a hi-five.

Meanwhile, in Red's room…

"I'll get him for this!" Red muttered. He thought for a bit, then a light bulb metaphorically popped up above his head.

"I know! I'll make Ashley scare him away! Then _he'll_ be the one crying!"

Red cheered up instantaneously and waltzed down to Samus' room.

….

Peach and Zelda sat in Peach's room, brushing their hair and talking about nothing in particular.

"Hey, you know that Ashley chick?"

Zelda narrowed her eyes. "Yeah. She's got Samus in a real knot. See, she's pacing up an down the corridor."

"She's been doing that for 10 whole minutes!"

Just then, they heard whistling.

"Do you think that's…"

Then a loud yell, the sound of a body falling down stairs and an angry Samus storming away.

"No." Said Peach. "Definitely not. It was Red."

Zelda raised a brow. "How did you know?"

Peach shrugged. "His body makes a very distinctive sound when it hits the stairs."

…..

Snake peeked out of a hole in his box. There, ahead of him, was a cake. A beautiful Black Forest cake.

He surveyed his surroundings. Nobody in sight. No security cameras, no footsteps, nobody hiding under the table. Snake nodded. It was now or never…

He sprang out of the box, and made a dash for the cake.

Only to find it disappeared on touch. A hologram! He should have known.

"The cake is a lie."

Snake looked around for the voice. Something dropped on him from above!

"Who…?"

Pit stood up, brushing off his toga.

"Got ya."

Snake sighed and slumped underneath his box again. There went the cake.

Snake stayed in the same position for about 15 minutes, when Samus came storming into the dining room.

"SNAKE!"

Snake whispered. "I'm not here." You may think that this is very cowardly, but unless you've ever had to face Samus' wrath before, I suggest you think twice.

"SNAKE! I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!"

Snake reluctantly threw off his box and stood up. "How did you know?"

"You always stay in the same spot every day."

"So, what do you want?" Snake asked.

Samus turned dark. "You know that girl, Ashley," Snake nodded. "I need her out of my room! I don't need her messing up all my stuff!"

Snake gave a wan smile. "Alright then. I'll need a bit of recon. You know, getting to know your enemy and stuff. Then there's the fact that I have a box that I'll probably have to replace, so… How does 100 sound?"

Samus grunted and slapped the money into Snake's hand. "Just do it."

Snake inwardly grinned. A look inside Samus' room… he'd better make sure he got a good look.

…

All the pokemon split up, each pokemon taking a different section of the house.

"I heard that Snake is going to try and get her out of there, so we'll wait, and let the others do all the dirty work for us."

Lucario watched carefully. The three bad guys were plotting something… He had to find out what.

"**Do you mind if I join in?"** He said. "**I may be of use.**"

Wolf made a 'come here' gesture and began to talk again.

"Samus is pretty pissed off, so Ashley must be doing something to annoy her. She definitely won't mind if we take Ashley away. Then she can join us, and we may finally have… a useful addition to our team. Gannondorf looked about to cry. Bowser slapped him.

"**Hey, I think that it might be a good idea to use the pokemon. They are also trying to get Ashley. Be wary of Snake, though. Samus bribed him to work for her.**"

Wolf cracked his knuckles. "Of course."

Lucario grinned as he walked away. The is thing was getting way out of proportion. At least those three would be too occupied with fighting off the pokemon to stop him from using her himself. Perfect blackmail material.

….

Ashley inspected a helmet lying on the bench. It wasn't a very good one, and it was green, of all colours. It was definitely a males model. Samus was not a male.

Ashley brushed the helmet with her fingers. It was obviously some dead person's helmet that was very close to Samus. Looking around the room, Ashley could see posters covering the walls and roof. They all depicted a dragon of some sort, and all of them were so riddled with holes that they almost weren't posters anymore.

Ashley went back to reading her book. Where she got it from is not important right now.

…

Snake peered into the room. Ashley had her back to him, so she couldn't see him. He slipped through the door and into the corner. She still didn't react. He crept a little closer, then pulled himself under the box. Ashley got up and turned around. She headed straight for him. He could feel his breathing becoming more and more rapid. She pulled the box off him.

"That was the worst hiding place ever."

Snake bolted out of the room.

At that moment, Samus bolted into the room.

"GET. OUT. NOW!" She yelled. Ashley didn't budge.

"Fine. Have it your way."

Ashley reached for the green helmet.

"NO! Don't touch that! Put it down…"

Ashley held it out from her.

"If you drop that, I will kill you. No joke."

Ashley raised it higher…

"STOP! Put back that helmet, now!"

Ashley smirked. "Why? It's just a helmet."

"It is NOT! It's Adam's helmet!"

Ashley relaxed a tiny bit. "Adam? Malkovich? Why, He's dead, isn't he?"

Samus' jaw dropped. "How did you know?"

Ashley continued. "You know, his ghost is here right now. He doesn't want you to worry anymore. He's dead: There's no reversing that."

Samus trembled and opened her mouth, but closed it when no sound came out.

"He's telling you to just let it go…"

It was all too much for Samus. She fell on her knees, crying into her hands. Ashley stepped over her, smiling. Good can come from lying, she thought to herself.

Red, who was on his way to visit Ashley, saw Ashley walk out of Samus' room looking very smug. Peeking into Samus' room, he saw said girl crying and crumpled in a heap.

He gave up trying to impress Ashley.

A little while later…

Bowser roared at Pichu, scorching the poor pokemon. In turn, Pikachu zapped Bowser, making his hair stand on end and he fell over. The others continued to fight.

"**All because of a little girl.**"

Lucario stood in the shadows, watching the four (Including Dedede) bad guys and the pokemon duke it out in the dining room. He made a mental checklist:

Snake had given up, keeping Samus' money.

Red had given up, after seeing Samus cry.

Samus was a mess, and wouldn't be a problem.

The pokemon were battling the bad guys.

And the two princesses probably had a plan.

That meant only the princesses were a problem, and they could easily be dispatched…

Lucario returned to the present in time to dodge a flying pie.

…..

Ashley looked down at the mess everyone was creating. All because of her. She didn't feel any guilt, though. It was all for a good cause.

Ashley opened the front door. Hopefully, her leaving would bring all the warring factions together and peace would be restored once more. She walked out of the house, down the street and over the hill until she could not be seen any more. And that was the last the Smashers saw of Ashley.

….

Red was escorting a tear stained, messed up Samus down the hallway to the dining room, noticing that the door was open.

"That's weird…" He said, but made no further note of it.

Lucario could sense that a presence had left the house, but he was too preoccupied with trying to avoid being hit to chase it down.

Only the boys, who were playing the Wii upstairs, noticed Ashley leaving.

"Hey, look! Ashley's leaving!" Said Roy. Ike, Marth and Link all looked, and saw.

And fate chose that moment to cause Ness to run upstairs.

"Help! The pokemon, the baddies and all the kids have somehow got caught up in a war! They broke my favourite baseball bat!"

So the boys grudgingly made their way down to the dining room, and didn't like what they saw.

Red and Samus took one step into the dining room and stopped. There was mess everywhere. The floor, the walls, the ceiling, the oven…

Red tried to stop them but only succeeded in getting a pie to the face. Samus snapped.

"Everyone, STOP IT!" She screamed above the noise. Everyone obliged, but whether it was because she seemed very angry or the fact that there was now a hole in the roof and a smoking arm cannon, is still to be known.

The fighting factions all looked at the mess they created. They were all ashamed.

"Clean this up! Ness here is going to have nightmares because of you!" Commanded Ike in a very mature way.

Everyone, even the spectators, helped to clean up. Wit Peach helping, it was done in two hours.

"Now," Said Peach sternly. "What were you all fighting about?"

The bad guys looked at their feet. The kids tried to hide behind each other. It didn't work. The pokemon hung their heads. At last, someone spoke up.

"We were fighting over Ashley, miss."

Peach sweatdropped. "Why?"

Snake raised his hands defensively. "Don't blame me. Samus paid me. I'm a mercenary. I o anything for pay." Everyone looked at Samus. She managed to speak through gritted teeth.

"She was about to destroy Adam's helmet…"

"Who's Adam?"

Samus blinked surprised. She never told anyone about him before.

"Well, he was a GF officer. He… died in order to save us…" She broke down into tears and buried her head into Red's shoulder.

"And I only wanted to have her as my friend so Gannon wouldn't bully me."

"We wanted Ashley so we wouldn't be weak against the pokemon."

"We needed Ashley so that we could have a decent tier ranking."

Peach tutted. "Is that a good reason to fight each other?" She asked like a mother would ask a naughty child. They shook their heads. "Then go say sorry." She immediately brightened.

"Come on, Zelda! I need to finish doing my makeup!"

Red looked at Samus. "I never knew you could cry. I used to think you were robotic, with no feelings at all."

Samus glared at him. "And I thought you were a weak, spoilt little brat who couldn't defend himself."

Red smiled.

Wolf huffed. "That really was a useless fight." He looked at Gannon. "Don't worry. I didn't really mean to think you were sissy."

Gannon looked at Wolf. "You really do have a heart!"

Pikachu hung his head in shame. "I'm sorry I was not a good leader."

Pichu put a tiny paw on his shoulder. "You were a great leader, Pika."

Lucario clasped his hands together and apologised. "**I am sorry. I told Wolf about our plan… I betrayed you…**"

"_Hey, doggy, it's alright. I didn't play a big enough role in this story. It's my fault._"

And the laws of the universe broke in two.

Ike and Link shrugged and regained their immature teen attitude. "Let's go and play Wii."

Marth sighed. Some things never changed…

**...**

**How'd you like? I like how Ashley was a main character, yet wasn't at the same time...**

**OK, so, review, favourite, whatever you like to do. If nobody reviews, I'll have to spin the**

**WHEEL OF DOOM! tm**

**So please review.**

**PS: I just played and finished Portal, in case you didn't notice. I'm hanging out till Chrono Trigger comes out on Wii ware...**

**But I have never played Final Fantasy.**

**Oh, and one more thing, this story will have Question of the Week, even though I don't do weekly updates.**

**Question of the Week:**** What does 'trombone' mean in Italian?**

**See ya soon!**


	2. Chapter 2: Boo

**A terrifying Challenger approaches…**

**Boo.**

I watched as the campfire flickered and played with the shadows in the trees. They were big trees.  
>All the kids were also sitting around the campfire. Ness and Lucas, Toony and the Ice climbers, Link and Zelda, Samus and Marth and Pit. I lay down and put my arms behind my head, looking at the constellations. It was a perfectly clear night, and the stars shone brighter than ever.<p>

"Hey," Zelda, I think it was, said when everyone settled down. "How about we tell ghost stories?"

As I expected, the little kids agreed very loudly. Link did as well, though it was probably just because Zelda suggested it. He was such a sheep.

"Yeah! And the prize of the 'Ghost story' game can be…" Toony paused dramatically, while we all tensed in anticipation. "This entire bottle of Mountain Dew!"

All of a sudden, I was interested in this game. "Count me in!"

"Me too!"

"Oh, I guess it couldn't hurt…"

And so we all ended up sitting in a tight circle, holding a bag of chips and trying to stop shivers going down our spines.

"And then, the clouds parted and the moon lit up the old warehouse. The shadows disappeared. The room was empty.

She turned around, and she saw… a skeleton hanging up on the wall! Its wrists were bound by rusty iron cuffs, clanking as if by the wind, but the warehouse was completely still. There came a moaning from all around. She looked and looked, but there was nobody in sight. She took one step, two steps back…

AAHHHHH!"

We all jumped as Pit screamed in a most horrific way. Pit peered out from under his eyebrows, the firelight creating ominous shadows on his normally innocent face.

"She was caught by the neck! She struggled and struggled, she tried to scream, but no sound came out. The grip around her neck got tighter and tighter until she couldn't breathe. She was choking. Her feet were lifted off the ground. Someone behind her laughed as the grip got tighter…"

I swore I heard someone laugh ominously at that moment. By the looks of the others, they had heard it too. Lucas wrapped his arms around his knees and the twins were chewing on their fingernails. I felt my gut squirm and all of a sudden, the clearing seemed to get darker and more frightening.

"And the next morning, when the workers arrived, they found the little girl just standing there.  
>And they didn't come out again."<p>

Pit finished his story with a low tone and a gaze that threatened to turn my spine to jelly. I never knew Pit could be so scary. About half a minute passed before Pit leaned back and rested against his palms. The kids reached for a swig of Mountain Dew. Of course, they would have been scared. Zelda reached out, then Link. I didn't want to take a sip, or the others would know I was scared by a silly ghost story, but at the same time I really wanted some Dew. Marth showed how scared he was by drinking almost a quarter of the bottle and I decided to do the same. Only Samus didn't reach for the drink. Nothing seemed to touch that girl. That said, she probably wasn't listening that whole time.

Then, our fire went out. It wouldn't have been such a big deal, but the ghost stories had us all hyped up and the place was very dark. I couldn't even see Marth, who was sitting beside me. The smaller kids were whimpering and presumably huddling next to each other, but it was kind of hard to tell. I felt something ever so slightly creep up my neck… But when I turned around, there was nothing there. I heard someone, probably Nana; it was a girl's voice. She screamed a thin, high pitched scream that resonated through the clearing in the most unusual way.

"Nana!"

"What happened?"

"Nana's gone!"

I could feel the terror rising up my throat, threatening to escape as a scream. I heard the mechanical whirr of something beside me, and I jumped up quicker than Marth would and drew my sword. When I saw who it was, I sighed with relief and let my sword drop from my fingers. It was just Samus in her Power Suit. She was scanning the clearing, a finger to the side of her helm and her cannon ready. Marth carefully picked up his sword and stood beside me.

"There's something here…" he whispered in my ear so as not to frighten the kids further.

"I know." I whispered back. My whisper seemed to echo in my head, rustling through my mind and playing with my nerves.

Ness and Lucas were next to go. Ness was dragged by something unseen, kicking and beating his fists against the ground, to no avail. Lucas ran after him, eventually disappearing completely into the darkness. I clenched my fists.

"Someone restart that fire. We need some light. Zelda…?" I turned to Zelda, but she was already on to it. She held out her gloved hand and a spark of fire flew out from her palm, igniting the firewood. It flickered to life painfully slow. We all sat as close to the fire as possible, letting it warm up our bones and melt away our fear. My hand clenched around my blade and I wrapped my headband around my brow. Everyone else followed my lead, getting ready for a fight. Then, it came…

To me, it looked like a giant of a man, covered from head to toe in menacing black armour. He carried a sword twice as big as mine, and twice as dangerous. All the others had mixed reactions. Some of them cowered, a few of them angrily got into position, and fewer still were frozen on the spot. A spared a glance at Marth. He was gaping, but he was ready to battle all the same. I heard cries of the kids behind me.

"AHH! What IS that… that _thing!_"

"I hate spiders…"

"… What are you doing here…? I thought I killed you already…"

Samus took a few steps forward, raising her cannon at what should have been the things head.

"Finally. I get revenge. For all those times…" Samus made as if to charge her Zero Laser, one of the most powerful attacks I've ever seen on a Smasher, but what looked like a knight to me struck her with his giant sword and she was knocked away, winded on a tree trunk. Zelda had a better idea.

"Hey! Over here, you monster! Quick! Link, go around to the back! We can-" Zelda trailed off as she realised Link was stricken with terror. His eyes were wide and his knuckles were white.

"Um, OK, Toony, you have experience too. Go around to the back of the monster and see if you can find a weak point. Ike, Marth, you two make sure it doesn't get too close to the kids. Help us to find its weak spot. Pit, climb a tree and get ready for a signal," Pit recoiled.

"I'm not a monkey!" Pit retorted, attempting to hide his fear. Nevertheless, he climbed the tree and crouched, awaiting Zelda's signal.

Zelda and Toon Link tried their hardest, but the monster was not weak in any way, shape or form. It advanced on us, and step by step we retreated backwards. I felt my back hit a tree trunk. I blanched. There was no backing out now. The knight advanced towards me, the black armour so dark that the firelight didn't even reflect off of it. The moon peeked its head out of the blanket of clouds and shone beams of moonlight onto the scene. I had thought it was a knight, but behind the helm was something too horrible to describe. It had no eyes, but I could feel its gaze boring into my very soul. Its blade was a twisted and demented version of my own. It was big enough to slice the tree behind me in one strike. With a simple knock of his gauntlet, my sword went flying and put out the fire again. He raised his other hand, the one with the sword, higher, and higher, and higher still…

I jerked into reality, sweating and panting. Looking around, the others had the same reaction. Except for Marth, who was the one telling the story. Very soon, the Mountain Dew was completely empty. That was, by far, the scariest story I have ever heard.

And when we packed up our camp and set our course for Smash Mansion, I looked around to make sure we were all together. We were. That was good.

Until we had reached the courtyard near the Mansion and someone asked,

"Where's Nana?"

I looked and, indeed, Nana was missing. The trees swayed in an unseen wind. I felt shivers run races down my spine. The moon was covered with cloud again. And I swear that just then, I saw a flicker of a white, mocking face flitting through the trees, laughing at us.

**Ooooooooooo. Scary much? Not really? Whatever. I didn't put an A/N at the top because that ruined the mood. Sorry if you were expecting an essay: this is a real one-shot, tantalizing your subconscious and prodding at your fears. Try reading this in the dark. With a bottle of Mountain Dew. Even better, tell it as a ghost story to your friends. I'm sure if you act scary enough, they'll wet their pants.  
>I really should be in bed, resting, getting rid of my awful sickness, but I thought, 'Hey, I should really get my lazy as moving and write some fics.' And I did. For you guys.<strong>

**It's told from a first person perspective because I wanted to, y'know, change things up a bit. There was no actual Boo joining the Brawl, but I think it's nice to think outside the square. There _was_ a Boo there... at the end...**

**Alright, I'd usually put this at the top, but I didn't. The answer for last times question:**

**In English, 'trombone' is a conical lower brass instrument, with pitch controlled with a slide, that is quite definitely not a trumpet.  
>In Italian, it has a double meaning. It can mean a conical lower brass instrument that is quite definitely not a trumpet, or it can also mean 'daffodil'. Seriously. So, next time you see a trombone player, go up to them and say, 'Hey, I like your daffodil.' And watch as everyone gives you weird looks. Then explain.<br>This weeks question is:  
>Guess the quote from a well-known video game, and who said it! "I've been very busy... being dead..."<strong>

**As usual, leave a review, tell me who you'd like to see in this fic, leave some advice, praise me on my awesomeness... just review, 'kay?**

**See ya later!**


	3. Chapter 3: Generic bounty hunter

**Hey there! If your reading this, then you've probably read the other two (Not very good) chapters. You should also know that by leaving a review, I no longer have to spin the WHEEL OF DOOM!tm to find a character!  
>This one's a bit different... but hopefully you get the gist of it.<strong>

**And the answer to last times question was: GLaDOS from Portal. :D**

_**Warning: This chapter contains minor coarse language and some implied/suggestive scenes. Don't like, don't read, don't flame. Nothing too major though.**_

**Enjoy!**

**A challenger approaches... A bounty hunter? Sylux? Weavel? It could be any one of those.**

**...**

September 28 20XX

Dear diary/journal, or whatever you want to call it.

I swear, today has been THE most horrible day of my life!  
>First off, I caught my boyfriend snogging with Peach behind my back. That dirty, backstabbing cheat! I don't know why I thought we were together in the first place!<p>

I was actually looking for a bite to eat, and had to skilfully work my way past Kirby, who would have thrown a fit if he saw me in the kitchen. Then I saw _him._ He was casually sitting on the couch, lounging around… It would have been perfectly normal if Peach hadn't been on top of him. That b****! Stealing my boyfriend like that!

Ugh! I really want to KILL someone right now! Maybe I'll just go back to my dorm and strangulate my roommate.

September 29 20XX

Dear diary,

Guess what? It was really crazy… I walked into my dorm, and someone was sitting on my bed…. AND SUDDENLY I WAS GREEN! EEW! I HATE GREEN! Especially after what _he_ did!

Green is not nice.

But guess what? It turns out it was just a practical joke on the kids part. But the person sitting on my bed… was none other than Peach. Yep. You can bet that as soon as I walked in, I talked her to the floor, which wasn't too hard as she was in a frilly pink dress, and got covered with green paint. I have no idea what the kids were doing in my room, or if Peach employed them to get me, but let me tell you I wasn't happy. I'm still angry at you, Peach!

October 1 20XX

"Peach is a b***"

Dear blog,

Happy first day of the month, everyone! I posted this one up on my blog for you all to see. Yep, all of you. I want everyone to know how selfish and pig-headed my ex boyfriend is. He is dating Peach now, officially, and he's already proposed. What the hell? He's barely left college! And now Peach and her entourage are totally trying to get me, I swear. They stole all my clothes and I think they told Marth to steer clear, because I hardly see him anymore. They are laughing at me right now. That's why I'm shut up in my room, writing on this blog.

If you are reading this, then spread the word about Peach. Remember, you can't trust a thing she says!

~ A sore girl with no heart left.

October 1 20XX

A response to your post on "Peach is a b***"

Dear whomever it may concern,

I have recently been directed to the post you have made on your blog. As one of the executive managers, I have to ask that you delete this blog immediately within 24 hours or your account will be deactivated. It is advised that you stop posting inappropriate messages on other people's blogs.

Thank you,

Administrator.

October 3 20XX

Dear diary,

Alright, so be it then. Two can play at that game, Peach. She got my account deactivated on this blogging website I go on. Yeah. Like I said, two can play at that game.

October 2 20XX

Comments on "Peach is a b***"

Sonic: What did Peach ever do to you?  
><em>Reply<em>: Peach: Nothing! I did nothing  
><em>Reply:<em> Zelda: Oh yeah? So, why is Link going out with you now?  
><em>Reply:<em> Peach: Like Marth says, he chose me. Get over it.  
><em>Reply:<em> Link: Oh, Zelda, stop this nonsense. You're going to get yourself banned  
><em>Reply:<em> Zelda: Oh, go and report me! I don't care! Peach, you b***, boyfriend stealer, you should be banned from this estate! Say, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd LOST YOU VIRGINITY!  
><em>Reply:<em> Peach: I'm going to ban you. Sorry.  
><em>Reply: <em>THIS USER HAS BEEN BANNED

Marth: Zelda, leave her alone. Link obviously got over you. These things happen. You just have to deal with it. Life is full of hard patches, there's no need to post it all over the internet.

Bowser: Ha! Peach is a b***, I know. Enough said.

October 3 20XX

Zelda,

I am a professional bounty hunter. More than that. I have heard of your dilemma. Getting rid of problems is my specialty. It seems you are angry. I can give you the vengeance you deserve. If you wish for me to be of use, you may meet me outside the main office at exactly half past midnight tomorrow night. If you are not prompt, I will assume that you no longer need my services.  
>I do not ask you to bring any sort of payment. Negotiations will be made then.<p>

A bounty hunter who needs a job.

October 4 20XX

Dear diary,

Isn't it wonderful? I hired a bounty hunter! He said that he would give me revenge and stop Peach from being such a bully, and then Link would be mine again! Well, he didn't say that, but he meant it.

If he manages to 'do his job right', whatever that means, then all I have to give him is Samus' keys to her space ship. I have no idea why he'd want those, though. Shouldn't he have his own space ship? Maybe he's a friend or something… maybe it's a practical joke! Though I can't imagine Samus would be too impressed. He must be pretty brave. He looks kind of scary, like Samus. He has the same sort of armour.

So, he's going to come in tonight, without being seen. Sounds like a ninja!

Peach, you're getting what you deserve.

October 5 20XX

Oh no. I never wanted this to happen. I never expected this…

I had to give the bounty hunter his keys. Samus' keys. I was not satisfied.

Samus said it was a bounty hunter. I had to keep my head down the whole time so nobody would think I was guilty. It was horrible. I just hope that nobody asks me for Samus' keys.

And to top it off, Link is scarred, and doesn't like me anymore. He knows I'm guilty. I just know it.

Oh, if only I'd never hired that bounty hunter! Then at least Link would be happy. I found myself wishing that I'd at least apologised beforehand.

I never wanted this. As much as I hated her, I _loathed_ her… I'd never want this fate on anyone.

I'd better stop before I ruin my pages with my tears.

~Zelda, sincerely sorry for everything.

**...**

**So, this chapter's a little darker than usual. Or, it has dark undertones. I hope you all got what happened. I shouldn't need to elaborate.**

**I was thinking of doing just Weavel, but I figured I could OOC it just a little and make it ambiguous, and that way you wouldn't have to know the game to read the story. :D**

**Alright, this time, the question is...**

**I added some Wicked quotes and references. See if you can spot ALL of them.**

**See you next time, when you review!**


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